contacts : Tiny Shiny Objects

Name*

FirstLast

Email*

Phone*

Website

what are you contacting us about?*

Do you currently have a website?*

Yes
No

If different than above, What is the sites URL?

who is to blame for the brokenness?*

i did it.
my kids did it.
it is a mystery.

how may we be of service to you?*

Please describe the brokenness.*

additional cost add-ons

european speedo modeling
sun tan lotion application (male)
sun tan lotion application (female)

european speedo modeling

Price: $5,000.00

male lotion

Price: $25,000.00

female lotion

Price: $0.00

additional services total

$0.00

tell us more about your pool. How big? How dirty? Etc...*

Which of the following is more true?*

I am making the world crazier.
The world is making me crazier.

Are you in advertising?*

Yes
No

try to explain yourself with as little spin as possible*

Are You In Politics?*

I plead the 5th
No

Would you consider yourself:*

Definitely Corrupt or Open to the idea of being corrupt
100% pure and awesome

Do you think we'd actually help you?*

Yes
Every man has his price

please enter dollar amount for consideration.*

please describe the brokenness*

lie to us some more, please describe the brokenness*

please tell us how your brokenness occurred so we may protect our children from similar life choices*

what percentage of our soul do you feel this amount is worth?*

Good On You Superhero. Now how can we help you?*

On average, how much TV do you watch per day?*

Please justify this decision to us and yourself.*

Please, please explain why on earth you do this.*

good for you, please describe your brokenness*

managable, please describe your brokenness*

some brain damage has started. please describe your brokenness*

please describe the part of your day still left to be broken*

Check all that apply:*

I need some fresh ideas about my future
I have trouble with motivation
I sing "Take this job and shove it" way too much
my work makes me fat

c'mon champ tell us why you aren't playing in the big game*

prove to us further you can read and respond to gibberish